I went to Portugal last month with high hopes of hitting some decent scores. Instead I was rubbish and this week I got a bit philosophical, so I’ve established Guidlines For Golf:

Historically I’m naturally good at sport and enjoy it, a lot, however I’m not naturally great when technique is concerned. This lends itself well for rugby, where my athleticism was the primary consideration, however other sports required at least a degree of technical movement. But what I lacked in natural technique, I always made up for in determination to do well, both practicing and understanding the theory, so I always found a way of succeeding.

A great example is my cricket career. I never got in the team for the first year at school, or the second year for that matter! However I was by far the highest run scorer by my third year and captain thereafter. I think I had 4 shots, which could score me runs and made it difficult to get me out, developed after dedicating hours to watching cricket and practicing in the back garden (I had a sort of swing ball thing) . My technique was solid but a decent swing bowler could have got me out in minutes. I came up with a sort of defence to this, but it wasn’t great. Actually, it was rubbish. Anyway, I didn’t get any coaching, it was just hard work and understanding cricket. I didn’t pick up a bat and hit 100 in my first game. I got out 3^rd ball and then I was just left out for 2 years!

We can safely establish that I did not pick up a golf club and break 80. In fact, playing by the actual rules of golf, my first full round at Celtic Manor would have been closer to 150. Fair enough, it was a difficult course, I had no real idea what I was doing and was incredibly nervous – it was inevitable.

But I’ve now played at least 50 rounds and I thought I’d worked it out a bit. I had a drive that was consistent (my best stat on Golfshot, much better than other 24 handicappers in terms of fairways hit), and I was making decent contact with my irons. My short game was appalling, my putting at best very inconsistent. I wasn’t breaking 100 because I had real blowout holes, so after hitting 95 in awful conditions and featuring some truly embarrasing chips, I felt breaking 90 was in my sights. I was hitting about 60-70% of fairways, putting quite well and I even knew how to get out of bunkers. I’m ignoring negatives here and making it sound like I was amazing but I was happy with my game!

So how can it be that I was so, so bad in Portugal? Like, awful. I’ve never sliced the ball so much, ever. Or shanked it. Even when I started. 13 balls vanished at Vale de Lobo. I rarely put 2 good shots together. My iron play was absolutely shocking and was over hitting greens by 30 yards. My decision making was alarming. I decided to try putting from 20 yards and ended up taking 6 shots. Admittedly once you start playing badly you tend to get worse, and I was expecting to be closer to 95 than 105, so scoring between 109 and 123 was not what I was hoping for and left me absolutely raging.

I’ve never tried to develop perfect technique before in sport, so why am I even considering it to with golf? Realistically, the best I will get at this stage is high 80s. I started playing too late and I don’t have the time to get good enough to do any better. That’s fine – I can accept that, but I should be regularly getting in the 90s by now, which doesn’t require much more than making good contact and a decent short game.

I concluded that I need to go back to the drawing board and settle on a swing that works for me, not a vague copy of whichever player I decide looks good. Good club players often have the worst swings. They don’t get obsessed wondering if their hips are moving properly or the swing plane is ok.

So, here are my new Guidelines For Golf:

Go back to teeing the ball low, standing slightly further away again, not trying to hit the ball with the force of 7 men. Aim to the left of fairway, if it goes straight the ball should still hit the fairway. If I hook it then fine, I’ll be in trouble.

Irons and hybrid – keep standing closer to ball but don’t try and hit the ball hard. Go down 2 clubs and see what happens. If you come up short, fine, but over shooting greens by 30 yards is killing me.

Wedges – try not to change anything.

Putting – massively improved – keep going. Don’t take as long as long as my brother to line it up, golf should take less than 5 hours.

Bunkers – ummm, not sure.

Chipping – limit to either 7 iron or SW. DO NOT EVER TRY A FLOP SHOT.

Under trees, deep rough etc: play out to safe place. Don’t try to steal 20 yards. Or hit a low cut with a driver.

Done. My rules of golf. If you see me break any then you officially have permission to mark me down as a 15, even if the result comes out as an eagle.

And finally, throwing clubs is not acceptable. It makes me look like a prick, reducing the enjoyment of everyone. Mark me down as a 15 (though I’ll probably get an 15 anyway so just note it as I owe everyone a beer).

 

Whilst Rory was winning in Dubai last week, I was 5 miles away at the Emirates Golf Club, the venue for the European Tour curtain raiser. Over 3 days I played both the spectacular Majils golf course, and the Faldo, a full length 18 hole course that is fully floodlight. 

Both were quite simply astonishing. Dubai is literally just desert, however here we were on perfectly manicured Bermuda grass, overlooked by sky scrapers, enjoying two of the most challenging but enjoyable golf courses I’ve ever played.

Aside from 9 holes in mid-October, I hadn’t played for a couple of months, and my swing felt really bad. By the turn I had shot in the mid 50s, and that was thanks to some very generous gimmes by my playing partner. As we approached the 10^th the lights came on, and what followed was a golfing experience like no other! Whilst the Faldo is fully lit, there are always going to areas where visibility was a bit lower, and these were usually areas where golf balls aren’t meant to go, areas that I find myself on a regular basis!

To be honest, it didn’t matter. I don’t know how I scored, I’d estimate around 52 as there weren’t any massive blowouts, but no pars and only a couple of bogies. The experience of playing under lights and surrounded by Dubai’s sky line was once in a lifetime stuff, though I’ll probably go back out there at some point!

The Majils is the more difficult of the two, and thankfully I found myself striking the ball a lot better. A couple of pars and a few bogeys on the course where Tiger begin his 2013 season was brilliant. The course was practically empty and we managed to get 18 holes in, although we could certainly have done with the Faldo floodlights on the final hole.

Overall I have to recommend a Dubai golf trip, no matter what your standard. Everything from the perfect fairways, “fluffy” rough, stunning backdrops and GPS enabled golf carts makes for some truly memorable rounds that I’m not sure can be bettered.

 

The Celtic Manor Twenty Ten course staged the Ryder Cup two years ago, however last month saw a whole new level of golfer descend upon it. Yes, I tackled a world class golf venue, and to be honest, didn’t do too badly. Shooting 111 certainly doesn’t suggest that I took the 6,570 yard course apart, except 3 pars and 3 bogeys is certainly better than I expected, on a course that it is very difficult and far longer than I’m used to. My home course, Woldingham, is around 6000, equating to 30 yards less distance per hole. Essentially this means that after a decent drive, rather than a 7 iron into the green, you have to pull out a 4. And after breaking my 6 iron last month, I had to use a 5 iron on every “short” hole.

A major issue is once you find yourself in trouble, you are in serious trouble. After 2 holes I’d spent time in 5 different fairway bunkers. Bottom line: if you go off target then you’re going to struggle to recover. And a rookie golfer does go off target occasionally – four 8’s, a 9 and a 10 testify to that! As I’d noted at The Open, professionals consistently escape when faced with ridiculous lies and unnatural stances. For them it is more a case of missing a potential birdie than worrying about scoring less than double figures. For me, trouble can signal a real blowout, and the Twenty Ten offers plenty of that.

One thing that surprised me was how the difficulty we had reading the greens, because the ball rarely broke. Having played other courses at Celtic Manor, it was amazing how flat the putting surfaces were, and bizarrely this made it even harder.

The biggest plus that I will take from the round was how well I was driving. 77% of fairways hit, probably inspired by my fear of finding more bunkers after my experiences on the 1^st and 2^nd holes. I also hit a hybrid to within 6 feet from 200 yards, though obviously I missed the putt. I’ve carried this club around for about a year, taking it out occasionally, then putting it back after topping the ball 5 yards.

The entire experience is excellent, with personalised lockers awaiting all players, a complimentary driving range and club cleaning after you’ve finished. At £90 it’s expensive, however I would definitely recommend.

Perfecting the flop shot has become essential to me. I’m getting better and have even used it on a course to get up and down to save par. Obviously I’ve also used it to smash the golf balls out of bounds and I’m pretty sure that I heard a window break after misfiring on the chipping green last month.

Anyway, if you think the flop shot is as impressive as I do, you will be in a state of wild excitement when I recount a couple of drives from last week.

It was pretty windy, so I figured if I got some loft then the wind would give me an extra 50 yards. Intelligent play from a thinking golfer. I tee’d the ball up a bit higher, went through the quick pre-shot routine that I’ve developed, and then let rip. The ball travelled 220 yards in total. 100 of those were up in the air, the 2^nd 100 were back down to earth. 20 of them were forward. I’d hit a flop shot with a driver, off the tee. Behind me, an imaginary Phil Mickleson stood and applauded. Never before had he even conceptualised such a golf shot.   

So how to do it? Basically, I tee the golf ball up fairly high, though not as much as you might assume. The trick is to make sure you turn your wrists, so when the club head makes contact with the ball, it is hitting the top edge of the club. And it is very embarrassing, perhaps more so than missing the golf ball altogether. Everyone has swung with fury and hit thin air, but this is unique and fairly amusing. Somewhat worryingly I repeated this feat on a second occasion! Once is a fluke, but what if you manage it twice in a round? I’m thinking that maybe I might have to look at teeing the ball a bit lower on the tee…

Public speaking is generally regarded as most people’s greatest fear, however this is purely because most people don’t play golf. Standing on the first tee, club in hand, golf ball teed up and any kind of audience is enough to make a beginner cry. The club head looks tiny, the ball is a barely visible marble and the fairway at least 3 miles away. Self doubt does not creep in – “will I hit, will I not, will they laugh, will I cry” – no, you know with absolute certainty that an air shot is probable, two consecutive air shots are likely and topping it 3 yards would represent success.

The fact is, everyone has been there. And everyone still does get a sense of dread when they step onto the first tee. My first ever tee shot went 170 yards, fairly straight onto the first cut. It was a miracle. A week before I’d smashed a club in half. A real bonus was that the torrential rain meant that we had no spectators, so I was relatively calm, but no one can ever take that shot away – a near perfect drive. I even had a par chance, though 4 putts later a triple bogey was marked so I couldn’t walk away with my head held that high, but I hadn’t embarrassed myself.

Real embarrassment was to follow about 6 months later, when the nerves had calmed down slightly and I was starting to feel more comfortable.

 The setting: Woldingham Golf Course, Surrey

The situation: Our 1PM tee time was being pushed back so that five 4 balls could all play together. It was a pensioners society day or something.

What happened: When we arrived at the first tee I spoke to the starter, explaining that pushing us back an hour was unfair and meant we wouldn’t be able to play 18 holes. We wouldn’t hold them up (their average age was about 95, so if nothing else we would be walking quicker). We’d tee off now and be out of the way in five minutes, so I put my ball down, lined myself up and then realised that I hadn’t even picked up a golf club for over 2 months. There was no self doubt, an air shot was coming up.

 Except it didn’t. I wish that it had, but I did make contact. The golf ball caught the very inside of the club head, perhaps a quarter of a millimetre, and the ball rolled at the speed of continental drift towards my foot. There was just enough pace for it to rebound, backwards, and come to rest 6 inches behind the tee. I don’t think it can get any worse than that. A backwards tee shot, after making a big fuss about our superior speed of play. I could actually hear the golf gods laughing at me…

After taking 43 putts to get round my local course last week, I decided that (obviously) a new putting style was needed, and who else to inspire this than Louis Oostheizen, who is fast becoming my golfing mentor. I recently read the book “Dream On”, the true story about a normal guy who wants to play a round of golf at level par. He uses Seve as his imaginary coach, and after abandoning my attempts to develop a Martin Kaymer swing on the basis of his 6’1 frame, and switch to a Oostheizen on this basis of the similarity of our height and teeth, I’ve developed an affinity with the South African.

I can’t afford to buy a belly putter, and something needs to change. So right hand over left it is. Rickie Fowler has won this year using this technique. And Sergio Garcia. I heard Sir Nick Faldo saying it was a method used by anyone who has tried everything else and still can’t putt. Well I haven’t really tried changing anything, but I’m just not very good at the moment and taking 43 putts over 18 holes is shocking. And given that the rest of my game seems to be improving, it’s annoying that my putting is regressing.

 Initial thoughts: it feels a bit odd, but after about 5 minutes it seems that I might be a natural as golf balls consistently found their way into my putting target (an old wine glass, seeing as you asked). Admittedly putting in the living room is somewhat different to a real green, even if the floorboards aren’t level, however I’m going to test this out over the weekend and hopefully I’ll be down to 42 putts. This weekend sees me visit Celtic Manor, the home of the Twenty Ten course that witnessed Europe’s Ryder Cup victory. At over 6,500 yards off the yellows it is a fairly formidable task and it might be that I’ve already picked my ball up well before we reach the green, but I’ll give it a go!

I’m the Inconsistent Golfer, boasting a handicap of 22. I’ve been playing, on and off, for 12 years, but my performance varies considerably each week, with some rounds seeing my golf ball hitting it’s target with perfect accuracy, whilst on others I find all manner of hazards with incredible precision. I try and aim for 4-5 pars per round and on a good day I’ll shoot mid 80′s, on a bad day, over 100 is easily possible. And yes, the Underground Smash was my doing. When striking the golf ball cleanly, I can clean up on stableford, but equally I can become a laughing stock as I hack my way around, wondering what is going wrong. I play maybe 30 rounds per year, including 2 golf weekends with friends, where I seem to always have one decent round and one shocker.

I usually play golf in Surrey, (Woldingham & Bletchingley golf courses), or West, (Pyrford golf club is a favourite) but am always up for playing new courses, especially overseas!

Strengths: I can strike a long ball with my irons, so I don’t use any woods and am safer off the tee. I rarely achieve such impressive slices or hooks as the Rookie Golfer, so losing golf balls isn’t a massive issue. I’m also confident with my 4/5-irons for long second shots. My putting is not too bad and I’m relatively comfortable from within 20 feet, from where I would expect to 2-putt at worst. This is an area of my game that has improved considerably in the last 6 months, when I would miss at least a couple of 3 footers per round.

Weaknesses: from 120 inwards I usually end up off the back of the greens, as I don’t seem to have a club that covers this distance (blaming equipment is the easy way out!) Either my 9 iron is labelled incorrectly or it just goes 140 yards. My wedge is 110, so that leaves me with a pretty significant gap. My fringe play is especially weak, so when I do go off the back of the green I’m in trouble and I rarely get up and down.

Target: a 15-16 handicap would be fantastic, which means more consistency. I’ve said that if the Rookie Golfer manages to beat me then I will quit, so it looks like I might have a lifetime of golf ahead of me to achieve this. I genuinely have no desire to play off a single figures as I’d get so disappointed if I saw my golf balls disappearing. To get to 15 shouldn’t be that hard, a lot of work on the wedge play should get me down to 20, and then more consistency in my shots would get me the rest of the way.

Best round: 79 ( 8 over) at Woldingham Golf Club in 2002. Over 10 years ago and worth noting that I was working behind the bar at the time so played A LOT. Best rounds elsewhere were a couple of 83s (13 over) at Mitcham and Bletchingley golf clubs.

Best courses I’ve ever played : Easy: Ocean Golf Course, Ria Bintan in Indonesia. A tropical golfing paradise with inclusive caddies, though I almost melted in the heat. Bravely shot 106. It has to be seen to be believed. If you can play one course, ever, this is it.

Second would be the Brabazon at the Belfry. An almost impossibly tough golf course, but a lot of fun to play. Also, a notable mention for Hillcrest Country Club, LA. Utterly opulent, in the middle of Beverly Hills. Again smashed 100 plus. It would be nice to visit an amazing course and play well one day! Actually, the course wasn’t that impressive, relatively, but when you’re handed tubes of Pro V-1 golf balls on the tee, valets park your car, and membership costs more than a house, it’s hard not to be impressed.

I’ll be writing regular updates on my target, and the Rookie Golfer will be trying to improve and get to our targets, whilst playing some enjoyable courses.

Tiger’s flop shot at Memorial 

 

Jack Nicklaus simply called it the most clutch golf shot he’d ever seen, and for good reason, but the above chip by Tiger Woods on Sunday at the Memorial was, in a word, magnificent.
Tiger was in the deep rough behind the green, with virtually no shot at getting the ball close, but chopped it out, let it take the slope on the uber-fast greens, and watched it disappear in the hole for a tournament-winning birdie.
Woods has hit some incredible shots in his career, but few rank as tough, and as clutch, as the one he hit to win his second event of 2012 and tie with Nicklaus at 73 career wins.

How he hit it: Tiger hit this golf shot almost identically as he would a lofted bunker shot. He played the ball forward in his stance, the clubface wide open, and the shaft straight or possibly leaning back to maximize loft. He then made a nearly full swing on both sides of the ball, setting the club very early in his backswing, then swinging the club fast and to his left through, keeping the clubface open through impact. Speed is essential to pull off this shot. Just as trying to “thump” the sand is a key to quality bunker shots, making sure you “find” the ground is necessary in hitting a well-executed flop. This is one of the few times you don’t really hit down on the ball, but rather try to get the club to slide underneath. If you do err, however, especially when the ball is sitting down a bit, you must hit this shot fat and come up short. Hitting this shot thin will send the ball 100 yards over the green.

 

Bubba Watson’s gap wedge hook at Augusta

 

Watson was so deep in the woods late Sunday afternoon that he couldn’t even see where he was going. With his golf ball nestled on a bed of pine needles, he hit a gap wedge that shot out toward the fairway and hooked some 40 yards and onto the elevated green.Nothing less than the Masters was riding on the outcome. Nothing else would do except for a page right out of “Bubba golf.” His amazing golf shot in the playoff settled 10 feet from the hole, setting up a simple par for the win.

How he hit it: A passive body is essential to hit a big hook. Focusing on slowing your hip and torso rotation through impact will cause your hands and arms to “pass” your body, allowing the clubface to close. You can’t get a golf ball to curve significantly by swinging slowly. The ball simply will not react enough to the impact conditions, especially with today’s balls that don’t spin as much. If you need to hit a big hook, it’s better to take less club and apply more speed, specifically hand and arm speed.

Ben’s Underground Smash

 Based in water logged rough with 250 yards to go to the front of the green and having barely hit a golf ball more than 100 yards, Ben pulled out a 3 iron, widened his stance and swung the club with the force of 10 men. He made a fantastic contact and the ball disappeared, directly beneath the ground. Phil Mickleson described this as “one of the most creative shots he had ever heard of”, however he admitted that he did not understand quite what Ben was trying to accomplish.

 

How he did it: Soft ground is required for this to be successful. Try to rotate as much as possible, then get very steep and strike down, preferably at a vertical angle. Saying that, this shot is not going to be easy.

I went to a practice day The Open last week and have returned with a new outlook on golf. Professional golfers actually play a different game to me, I knew this already, but it wasn’t the extra distance on their drives that makes them so much better. On the whole, given that the championship tees are pushed back so far, being able to hit a golf ball 300+ yards with regularity doesn’t give them any advantage, and they will often find themselves with longer approach shots than us. Neither do they consistently find the fairways – Tiger is around 60% and often uses a 3 wood or iron off the tee. Obviously a lot is made of their fantastic short games, it is hardly groundbreaking to suggest that being able to get up and down from a greenside bunker is crucial to scoring well.

No, what surprised me most was how they recovered from stray drives. Everyone finds themselves in trouble on a typical round, and for me, finding thick grass, behind trees and even on piles of manure, signals that I’m on course to record a round ruining score. For these guys it merely means that getting within 6 feet of the cup is going to prove slightly more difficult. We followed Rafael Cabrera-Bello for a few holes and were absolutely amazed at how he was able to cut through absurd rough, find the green and be annoyed that his golf ball wasn’t pin high. I’d have been delighted to make forward progress and get onto some form of grass type substance, hopeful that with a couple of good shots I might restrict myself to less than 8.

 

Tiger had an absolute mare in the final round and took a treble bogey after 3 putting and taking 2 shots to get out of a bunker, however I’m sure that I’d more likely have ended up with a 10. If I’m going to break 90 then damage limitation is going to be crucial, and turning my sextuples into triples is surely the easiest way to accomplish that.

Now I’ve got my 64 degree wedge, it’s time to master the flop shot. To be fair, Phil Mickleson describes this as “not a percentage shot”, so for the majority of amateurs it’s completely unnecessary, however when you see him hitting golf balls over fully grown men, I find it impossible to avoid thinking “I quite fancy doing that.”

So, firstly, open up your stance and… actually if you want to learn it’s probably best just to watch the YouTube lesson below. I’d love to be able to teach you how, but Phil is likely better at explaining things. I will say that flop shots aren’t as difficult as you might think, though it’s really easy to blade the ball and find yourself on another hole. Or in manure, in which case you had better check out my previous post.

Check out: A Flop Shot Lesson with Phil Mickleson